Everyone is worried about the environment, and our government has been coming up with all sorts of ideas about how to solve this problem with things like, the emissions trading schemes, which no one really understands, and telling us to drive electric cars, which cost a small fortune and force power plants to burn more coal and create more emissions than before.
Well there is a new idea, eat your dog. Robert and Brenda Vale have written a book in which they claim that an average sized dog has the same ecological impact as driving around in a SUV. So clearly it's people like me with a medium sized Labrador-Staffy that is destroying the planet. Not those who have giant bonfires every night, not the people driving Dodges, its the dog owners. So maybe the government should come with some sort of family plan, like if you have a large dog like a Great Dane, which are taller than my mother, you are only allowed a Moped. Or if you have a medium sized dog like a Staffy you can drive a small car, or if you have a small dog like a Poodle you can drive a station wagon, or if you have no dog you can drive a SUV.
So clearly the solution to the people who like to drive big motorbikes and SUV's is that they can can eat their dog, or maybe turn it into pet food or fuel for your car. Maybe there is some nice dishes you can make with dog, like Sweet and Sour Poodle, Roast Chihuahua, Bulldog and Mash or Meat Staffy Burgers. And then you can go for a drive in your Dodge.